More than a generation gap

One side of my family has chinese heritage. My wife's family has chinese heritage. There is a fair amount of immigration from various asian regions of people who have chinese heritage, and along with that comes people who have grown up with certain cultural norms.

Norms that I don't understand and really dislike.

Now this isn't a racist rant. It's a post about the "aunties" that come with this demographic. The aunties are the older ladies of chinese background, who are around my parent's background and fall into the age bracket where people are either close to, or already have, retired.

For some reason, these aunties feel they can take certain social liberties, particularly with the younger generation, when it comes to the things they do and the things they say. Some of these include:

• "Have you put on weight?" (Ummm... no, you haven't seen me in 3 years, and I'm actually the same weight as before)
• To get your attention, they pull your sleeve urgently, even though you're in the middle of a conversation with someone else. Or worse, they pinch your arm, or poke you firmly in the shoulder.
• They walk up to pregnant women and without asking, greet them by placing both their hands on the woman's pregnancy bump.

If I returned the favour in any of these ways, I'd be considered rude. So can anyone tell me how this works? Because the next aunty who asks me if I'm getting fat, even though they weigh more than me, is going to get the same question right back.